Advice: Dance like nobody is watching.
Love like you've never been hurt.
-Anonymous
"Democracy used to be a good thing, but now it has gotten into the wrong hands."
-Senator Jesse Helms (R-North Carolina)
I'd rather be rejected for what I am
than loved for what I'm not.
-Winston Clark (from the musical Out!)
An unsupervised teenager with a modem is as
dangerous as an unsupervised teenager with a gun.
-Arizona State Attorney Gail Thackeray
Don't you know that if people could bottle the air they would?
Don't you know there would be an American Air-bottling Association?
And don't you know that they would allow thousands and millions
to die for want of breath if they could not pay for air?
-Robert Ingersoll
I'm not one of those who think Bill Gates is the devil.
I simply suspect that if Microsoft ever met up with the
devil, it wouldn't need an interpreter.
-Nick Petreley
Life is short. Do what you want to.
-Crosswords
...before TV, the only entry kids had into the adult world was through reading,
and by the time they were able to read adult literature, they were largely ready
to deal with it. Now we have elementary students regularly exposed to all the
world's problems and faults through the "magic box" every day.
-Neil Postman, The Disappearance of Childhood
When did the oldies stations stop playing
Bing Crosby and start playing David Crosby?
-Hans VanBuitenen
So great has been the endurance, so incredible the achievement, that, as
long as the sun keeps a set course in heaven, it would be foolish to
despair of the human race.
-Ernest L. Woodward
I just got junk mail from this organization that wants me to
save the forest. I sent them back a letter saying stop sending
me the junk mail and save the forest yourself.
-Linda Herskovic
Last night Rusty pointed out a waitress who was taking orders at the next table.
He said that four years ago she was married, had a fourteen-year-old daughter,
and was the school system's consultant on dyslexia. It was summer. She and her
husband were having a drink in a bar in Aransas Pass. Her husband went to the
rest room and while he was gone a man at the other end of the bar said, "Hi.
Would you like to come with me to Mexico?" On the spot she walked out.
She lived with the man for three years in Guatemala. Even more unexpected
than the story was the reaction at our table. We were all staring at the woman
as if she were a heroine. A time comes when you need to clean house. No, you need
to go even further, you need to burn the house down with yourself inside it.
Then you must walk from the fire and say, I have no name.
-Hugh Prather (from Notes on Love and Courage)
"Hall is a country banker and as honest as the present conditions permit."
-Ed Clarke, introducing the Texas banker Walter Hall
Life is just a series of trying to make up your mind.
-Timothy Fuller
Fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.
-Shirley MacLaine
I have never known a man to make running noises...they move
faster than the speed of light, or else remove their shoes
and tiptoe away on little sock feet.
-MB
You don't manage people. You manage things; you lead people.
-Grace Hopper
Whenever people say 'We mustn't be sentimental,' you can take it they are
about to do something cruel. And if they add 'We must be realistic,' they
mean they are going to make money out of it.
-Mary McCarthy
If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your
envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears.
-Glenn Clark
Books are the bees which carry the quickening pollen from one to another mind.
-James Russell Lowell (1819-1891)
But somehow the social conservative case that the country is a moral abyss --
that we're all sunk in sin, the sorriest set of humans since Sodom and Gomorrah,
rotten to the core, unrivalled in hedonism since the palmiest days of the late
Roman Empire, and so on and so forth -- seems just a bit . . . how to say this?
. . . well, wrong. I don't know about your friends and neighbors, but mine are
exceptionally nice.
-Molly Ivins
Seven blunders of the world that lead to violence: wealth without work,
pleasure without conscience, knowledge without character, commerce without
morality, science without humanity, worship without sacrifice, politics
without principle.
-Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)
SCCS: the source motel! Programs check in, and they never check out!
-Ken Thompson
... But if we laugh with derision, we will never understand. Human
intellectual capacity has not altered for thousands of years so far as
we can tell. If intelligent people invested intense energy in issues
that now seem foolish to us, then the failure lies in our understanding
of their world, not in their distorted perceptions. Even the standard
example of ancient nonsense -- the debate about angels on pinheads --
makes sense once you realize that theologians were not discussing
whether five or eighteen would fit, but whether a pin could house a
finite or an infinite number.
-S. J. Gould, Wide Hats and Narrow Minds
Peering into the liberal mind is like looking into a writhing
snake-pit, except that snakes are generally cleaner.
-Michael Jones
Here is the real difference between a liberal and a conservative:
A conservative is a person who, seeing a man drowning 50 feet off shore,
throws him a 25 foot rope, and encourages him to swim the remaining
distance for the good of his soul.
A liberal is a person who sees a man drowning 25 feet off shore. He throws
the man a 50 foot rope, snakes it perfectly over the victim's shoulder...
and then drops his end, and walks off to do another good deed.
-Seen in Readers' Digest a long time ago
Those who will not reason are bigots,
those who cannot are fools,
those who dare not are slaves.
-Lord Byron (1788-1824)
The Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter if they come at you rapidly.
-Click 'n' Clack (11/27/1999 on NPR radio station WSHU)
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster.
And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Most people are mirrors, reflecting the moods and emotions of the times; few
are windows, bringing light to bear on the dark corners where troubles
fester. The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows.
-Sydney J. Harris
Television is democracy at its ugliest.
-Paddy Chayefsky
There are two kinds of companies:
Good ones ask you to think for them.
The others tell you to think like them.
Once you see that, it's easy to tell whether you're in the right place.
-Benjy Feen
Based on records prior to the summer [1999] break,
29 members of Congress have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have been arrested for assult
71 have credit reports so bad they can't qualify for a credit card
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are current defendants in lawsuits, and in 1998 alone,
84 were stopped for drunk driving, but released after they claimed Congressional immunity.
-Peter Langston, from Capitol Hill Blue
You want moral leadership? Try the clergy. It's their job.
-Molly Ivins
In the final analysis there is no solution to man's progress but
the day's honest work, the day's honest decisions, the day's
generous utterances and the day's good deed.
-Clare Booth Luce
"You've got questions? We've got answers."
-A Radio Shack ad
"Yeah, and most of them are 'Call tech support.'!"
-My son's wry observation
Bureaucracy destroys initiative. There is little that bureaucrats hate more
than innovation, especially innovation that produces better results than the
old routines. Improvements always makes those at the top of the heap look
inept. Who enjoys appearing inept?
-A Guide to Trial and Error in Government, Bene Gesserit Archives
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
-Aesop
Do not meddle with the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
-Anonymous
I never would believe that Providence had sent a few men into the world, ready
booted and spurred to ride, and millions ready saddled and bridled to be ridden.
-Walt Whitman, American poet (1819-1892)
I love the way vendors talk. No matter what happens, it's always good
news. If their mother died, the press release would talk about her
expanding her presence in heaven and taking on new challenges in the
other world.
-Doug Barney
Millions of sensible people are too high-minded to concede that
politics is almost always the choice of the lesser evil. "Tweedledum
and Tweedledee," they say, "I will not vote." Having abstained, they
are presented with a President who appoints the people who are going to
rummage around in their lives for the next four years. Consider all
the people who sat home in a stew in 1968 rather than vote for Hubert
Humphrey. They showed Humphrey. Those people who taught Hubert
Humphrey a lesson will still be enjoying the Nixon Supreme Court when
Tricia and Julie begin to find silver threads among the gold and the black.
-Russel Baker, "Ford without Flummery"
If Men TRULY Ran The World...
24. At the end of the work day a whistle would blow and you would jump out of
your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car.
I've about decided that's the main thing that separates happy people
from the other people: the feeling that you're a practical item,
with a use, like a sweater or a socket wrench.
-Barbara Kingsolver from Animal Dreams
Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it;
blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it.
-Bishop Fulton J. Sheen (1954)
Vague and insignificant forms of speech, and abuse of language have so
long passed for mysteries of science; and hard and misapplied words, with
little or no meaning, have, by prescription, such a right to be mistaken
for deep learning and height of speculation, that it will not be easy to
persuade either those who speak or those who hear them, that they are but
the covers of ignorance, and hindrance of true knowledge. -John Locke,
English Philosopher (1632-1704) [An Essay Concerning Human Understanding] (1690)
"Most documentation starts as hastily scrawled notes from
sleep-deprived developers who weren't necessarily hired for their keen
communication skills. Those notes are then fleshed out by recently
graduated English majors who have spent their last four years immersed
in works of fiction. The results are then passed on to the marketing
department whose job it is to make sure that no word or phrase will
reflect unfavorably on the product ("I don't think that the word
'Basic' properly communicates the exciting nature of the product. Why
don't we call it 'Visual Zesty?!'"). It is then beset by lawyers who
finish the job by making sure that they haven't explicitly promised
that the product will actually do anything. By the time the
documentation gets into your hands, it has been so sanitized for your
protection and generalized beyond recognition that you usually have to
go out and buy a 3rd-party manual (that was, more likely than not,
written by the same non-technical technical writer who wrote the
original documentation) in a vain attempt to get an unbiased,
unexpurgated, and unfiltered view of just how you're really supposed to
use the stuff."
-Introduction, About The "@ Novell" Series, November 3, 1998, offering
the inside scoop on computer documentation.
"Worldwide delivery in 30 minutes or less or your next one is free!"
-Painted on a Minuteman missle in the Delta 9 silo in South Dakota
"With faith in God, we kill!"
-Graffiti on a Serbian wall, as reported by NPR News
on the show 'All Things Considered', July 26, 1999
"They'd cage a rainbow if they could trap one!"
-My 13-year-old son, looking at a pair of bald eagles encaged at a zoo
"But think of how many more visitors we'd get if we could display a rainbow!"
-The response of a zoo worker when I related his remark to her
"I don't care what she does or where she goes,
as long as she comes home and sits on my face."
-J.A.
Last night my girlfriend was rhapsodising about her new apartment.
"It's so close to everything!" she gushed. "It's even in walking
distance to a gas station!" We were both silent for a few seconds,
and then she quietly said: "That doesn't make sense, does it?"
People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who
haven't what they want that they don't want it.
-Ogden Nash
Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you you are wrong. There are always
difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics
are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to the end,
requires some of the same courage which a soldier needs.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
We have worked at full speed since May. And that is I'm
persuaded the root and source and origin of all health and
happiness, provided of course that one rides work as a man rides
a great horse, in a spirited and independent way; not a drudge,
but a man with spurs to his heels.
-Virginia Woolf, writing in her journal about her life as a
publisher and writer.
A + B + C = Success if A = Hard Work, B = Hard Play, C = Keeping your mouth shut.
-Albert Einstein
You are beaten to earth? Well, well, what's that?
Come up with a smiling face.
It's nothing against you to fall down flat,
But to lie there, that's disgrace.
-Anonymous
It is impossible to live pleasurably without living prudently, honorably,
and justly; or to live prudently, honorably, and justly, without living
pleasurably.
-Epicurus (B.C. 341-270)
"Bother," said Pooh, "Eeyore, ready two photon torpedoes and lock
phasers on the Heffalump. Piglet, meet me in transporter room three.
Christopher Robin, you have the bridge."
The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of
getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into
small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.
-Mark Twain
As I sat in the supermarket office and waited for the cops to arrive,
a thought came to me. Maybe when they say "No purchase necessary,"
it's like some kind of code or something, and you're not supposed to
dump cereal all over the aisle to get the prize. Maybe if they hadn't
taken away my little "Crunch-Berry Decoder," I could have figured it
out.
-Nick DeCamp
"We have produced, consumed, and disposed of more things in
the last fifty years than in all the rest of history combined."
-Countdown to the Millennium
Overheard: "People keep saying they have a problem with me.
Why is that? I've never had a problem with me."
The most powerful force in the world is that of a frisbe straining to land
under a car, just out of reach (this force is technically termed "car suck").
Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leds to suffering.
-Yoda (in The Phantom Menace)
Well, I see by the scowl on the rat's face that it is time
for me to get out of here before the iron gates are lowered
and I am left crying for a cask of amontillado.
-L.F.
Under deadline pressure for the next week. If you want something, it
can wait. Unless it's blind screaming paroxysmally hedonistic...
Starting next week, all passwords will be entered in International Morse Code.
..."the 30 percent who earn poverty or near-poverty wages, have been getting the rawest deal.
'It is a stupid society that runs an experiment to see what its breaking points are.'"
-Molly Ivans, quoting Lester Thurow, economist
Morality is not properly the doctrine of how we make ourselves happy, but
how we make ourselves worthy of happiness.
-Immanual Kant
A man has made at least a start on discovering the meaning of human life
when he plants shade trees under which he knows full well he will never sit.
-D. Elton Trueblood
Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: You find the present tense and the
past perfect.
-Anonymous
Annex Canada now! We need the room, and who's going to stop us?
-Tom Neff
Nuclear war would really set back cable.
-Ted Turner
I'll tell you what kind of guy I was. If you ordered a boxcar full
of sons-of-bitches and opened the door and only found me inside,
you could consider the order filled.
-Robert Mitchum
When I sell liquor, it's called bootlegging; when my patrons
serve it on Lake Shore Drive, it's called hospitality.
-Al Capone
Good literature is about Love and War. Trash fiction is about Sex and Violence.
-anonymous
God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday,
and the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
-William Bragg
If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
-Paul Beatty
The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".
-Allen Smith
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side,
and it holds the universe together....
-Carl Zwanzig
Worst Vegetable of the Year: The brussels sprout. This is also
the worst vegetable of next year.
-Steve Rubenstein
Easiest Color to Solve on a Rubik's Cube: Black. Simply remove all the little
colored stickers on the cube, and each of side of the cube will now be the
original color of the plastic underneath -- black. According to the instructions,
this means the puzzle is solved.
-Steve Rubenstein
To be is to do.
- I. Kant
To do is to be.
- A. Sartre
Do bi do bi do.
- F. Sinatra
Yabba-Dabba-Doo!
- F. Flinstone
If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?
-anonymous
It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
-ibid
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
-ibid
Dealing with failure is easy: work hard to improve. Success is also
easy to handle: you've solved the wrong problem. Work hard to improve.
-you guessed it... ibid!
Tell a man that there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he'll
believe you.... Tell him that a bench has wet paint upon it and he'll
have to touch it to be sure.
-of course
Paul's Law:
In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.
-so I guess this would come from Paul somebody...
There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be
offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a
series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of
food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection
increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the
affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no
circumstances can the food be omitted.
-Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behaviour
I REALLY like Bugs Bunny. I think I just found out why. A local weekly had
an article on the wascally wabbit's 50th birthday party this year, and they
had the following quote about the animation studio where Bugs Bunny cartoons
were created... "It's not every workplace that allows you to have an autographed
picture of Christ on the wall."
-Scott Lieberman
As the eagle was killed by the arrow winged with his own feather, so the
hand of the world is wounded by its own skill.
-Helen Adams Keller
When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however
improbable, must be the truth.
-Arthur Conan Doyle (1859-1930)
"To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing."
-Eva Young
The willow which bends to the tempest often escapes better than the oak
which resists it; and so, in great calamities, it sometimes happens that
light and frivolous spirits recover their elasticity and presence of mind
sooner than those of a loftier character.
-Walter Scott (1771-1832)
"They're just jealous because they don't have three wise men and a
virgin in the whole organization."
-Mayor Vincent 'Buddy' Cianci
on an ACLU suit to have a city nativity scene removed
"When people have acupuncture, do wax dolls die?
Foreign aid: A system where the poor people of a rich country
give money to the rich people of a poor country.
What can be the reason for so much disagreement? The only reason is that
the essential truth is so divided and torn into so many pieces that it is
often lost in the strife. One party has truth; another also has some
truth, but each thinks it has the whole truth and, therefore, tries to
reject that of the other, imagining it is error.
-George de Benneville
Rule #10: Do not lean the bike over on its sidestand when the sidestand
is not down.
-From Laura Lemay's How to Live with a Neurotic Motorcycle
The San Jose Mercury News reported in March on some working models of the
Defense Department's "micro air vehicles" including one helicopter that can
fit inside a peanut shell. Each micro air vehicle carries cameras, sensors,
transmitters and antennas.
-News of the Weird 8/28/97 New Haven Advocate
Everything I say is my own opinion and does not even attempt to represent
the policies, positions, or views of my employer... or anybody else.
Also, please be advised that I suffer from transitive neural connectivity
failure, due to an intermittently diminished level of C8H10N4O2 in my
hemodynamic conveyance system. I change my mind quickly and frequently,
and sometimes I say things just for the hell of it.
"A Snark He Fry"
Koan: Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
Not one of us ever grows up to be what he intended to be. Not one of us
fulfills his own expectations. We are all our own children, in that sense.
At some point, somewhere, we have to stop making demands.
-John D. MacDonald (well, Travis McGee, really!...)
"We must all turn our backs upon the horrors of the past. We must look to
the future. We cannot afford to drag forward, across the years that are
to come, the hatreds and revenges which have sprung from the injuries of
the past."
-Winston Churchill
Q: Why do chicken coops have two doors?
A: Because if they had four doors they'd be chicken sedans.
Imagine that Cray computer decides to make a personal computer. It has a
150 MHz processor, 200 megabytes of RAM, 1500 megabytes of disk storage, a
screen resolution of 1024 x 1024 pixels, relies entirely on voice
recognition for input, fits in your shirt pocket and costs $300. What's
the first question that the computer community asks? "Is it PC compatible?"
In the land of the dark the Ship of the Sun is driven by the Grateful Dead.
-Egyptian Book of the Dead (P.S. Thank you, Jerry)
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
"Humans are kind, intelligent, well-adjusted creatures.
Until you get to know them."
-Dogbert
"I have nothing against humans, really- except that they're not dogs, but
they can't help that."
-my daughter, who is a dog fancier
I am looking for information regarding your most powerful firewall and
filter software. Do you have any suggestions? If possible in Japanese.
Purchase honorable wirecutters. Implement between router and csu/dsu.
Unencrypted e-mail is like a postcard chiseled in stone.
-Lauren Weinstein
One's concern with the ethics of means and ends varies inversely with the
degree of one's personal interest in the issue. When we are not directly
concerned, our morality overflows.
-Richard S. Gilbert
"We need your fax number in order to respect your wishes not to
receive unsolicited faxes."
-from a Microsoft web page.
Those who cannot forgive others break the bridge over which they themselves
must pass.
-Confucius
Said a hunted fox followed by twenty horsemen and a pack of twenty hounds,
"Of course they will kill me. But how poor and how stupid they must be.
Surely it would not be worth while for twenty foxes riding on twenty asses
and accompanied by twenty wolves to chase and kill one man."
-Kahlil Gibran
The future is a foreign country. They do things differently there.
-L. P. Hartley
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God Who has endowed us with
sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
-Galileo
Heard on public radio: "And now, we will listen to the story of someone who
played with the forces of darkness and unleashed evil upon the world. No,
I'm not talking about Bill Gates. We will now hear 'The Sorcerer's
Apprentice' by Paul Dukas."
-David Bouchier
[Bill] Gates is trying to make sure that he has a proprietary position
in controlling the tools that allow you and me to access information.
And that's profitable by definition. How would you like to own the
printing press?
-Christopher Dixon, Paine Webber media analyst
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"She would hold a grudge until it died of old age.
Then she would have it stuffed and mounted."
-David Weber
My web page designers ascended to the next evolutionary level,
and all I got was this lousy pudding recipe!
12413AEB2ED4FA5E6F7D78E78BEDE8209450920F923A40EE10E510CC98D444AA08E1324
'I cannot understand the fiery letters,' I said.
'No but I can,' he said. 'The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode,
but the language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter
here. But in common English this is what it says:'
One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
A man's judgement cannot be better than the information on which he has
based it.
-Arthur H. Sulzberger
Congress shall make no law restricting the size of integers that may be
multiplied together, or the number of times that an integer may be
multiplied by itself, or the modulus by which an integer may be reduced.
-Eric Norman
It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to
extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America.
-Molly Ivins
Like the ski resort of girls looking for husbands and husbands looking
for girls, the situation is not as symmetrical as it might seem.
-Alan McKay
"The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a bit longer."
-Henry Kissinger
To read the front pages, you might conclude that Americans are mostly out
for themselves, venal, grasping and mean-spirited. ... But you can't
travel the back roads very long without discovering a multitude of gentle
people doing good for others with no expectation of gain or recognition.
-Charles Kuralt
The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines.
The gods gave man love and he invented marriage.
It was the kind of store where you could buy your weight in a single jar of
mayonaise.
-Charisse Madlock
Auto-Docking WARNING: Objects in Mir are closer than they appear!
...when you get to monopoly status, you start to develop odd things because
you have no competitors to guage yourself [sic]. Microsoft Word now [has]
the ability to control how you underline misspelled words. You can have a
jagged red line or a wavy magenta line. What are they going to do [next]-
make it twirl and fade to black?
-Larry Ellison
Yeh baby, that's the way to do it.
Software for nothing and the source is free.
I want my linux or my B S D...
-Brothers in (Acorn) ARMs. (and me.)
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both
incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by
twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
-R. Serling
You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
-Jeanette Rankin
"Project to connect New York to rest of world gains support."
Headline about proposed underwater freight tunnel linking NJ and NYC
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:
If I passed algebra but failed calculus, what does that say about me?
In response, thus spake the Oracle: You do it discretely but not continuously.
I question the stability of papers. I know they aren't necessarily where I
put them. They may slink away under cover of darkness or transform into
vapor and waft out the door. Where I left them is not usually where I find
them.
-Ruth Cherry [in Newsweek, 3/3/97 p. 16
Here is another pilot fish who, while still feeding on the parasites which
attack the whale, dreams of a "perfect" world in which there are no whales
or parasites.
-Rabbi Haim Cassorla
After all, what is your hosts' purpose in having a party? Surely not for
you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply
sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
-P. J. O'Rourke
Guns don't kill people. Postal workers do.
-bumper sticker
"We don't do pure research here. We do 80% research and 20% playing
practical jokes on each other."
-Patrick D. Scannell
We take risks, not to escape life, but to prevent life from escaping us.
Salm-on-ing \`sam-on-ing\ (v): Coined 11/15/96 by Henry Farkas
A network condition in which every packet travels through the wire(s) with
a transmission or response time that indicates that it is working as hard
as a salmon swimming upstream against a heavy current during spawning
season. Successful packets shall be known as "hero packets". Dropped
packets (the majority) shall be known as "dead fish", and the percentage
of "dead fish" shall indicate how badly the network "stinks".
In Samoa, when elementary schools were first established, the natives
developed an absolute craze for arithmetical calculations. They laid aside
their weapons and were to be seen going about armed with slate and pencil,
setting sums and problems to one another and to European visitors. The
Honourable Frederick Walpole declares that his visit to the beautiful
island was positively embittered by ceaseless multiplication and division.
-R. Briffault
WYDSIWGY - The first rule of computer security:
What You Don't See Is What Gets You.
-Martin Hepworth
Slatkin's Theorem: By general agreement, nothing is better than eternal
happiness. But clearly, a cheese sandwich is better than nothing.
Therefore, a cheese sandwich is better than eternal happiness.
96.37% of all statistics are made up.
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the girrafe and the other to fill the bathtub with
brightly colored machine tools.
Q: What do you get if you cross a tsetse fly with a mountain climber?
A: Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.
Crazy? Some people think walking down the street muttering to yourself is
crazy. I'll tell you what crazy is. Crazy is walking down the street with
half a cantalope on your head, saying: "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster".
Now that's crazy.
-Agent WD-40, in Spy Hard
I speak only for myself.
I don't speak for my employer, or the other voices in my head.
Windows 95: n. - 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch
to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor,
written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.
-rec.humor.funny, 8/97 (via Shirley)
"This coffee is fit for a king. Here, King!"
-Henny Youngman 1907
I searched through rebellion, drugs, diets, mysticism, religions,
intellectualism and much more, only to begin to find...that truth
is basically simple -and feels good, clean and right.
-Chick Corea
Majority, n.:
That quality that distinguishes a crime from a law.
When the president does it, that means it is not illegal.
-Richard Nixon, in an interview with David Frost, 19 May 1977
And then he realized why he was thinking like this. It was because he wanted there to be
conspirators. It was much better to imagine men in some smoky room somewhere, made mad
and cynical by privilege and power, plotting over the brandy. You had to cling to this
sort of image, because if you didn't then you might have to face the fact that bad things
happened because ordinary people, the kind who brushed the dog and told their children
bedtime stories, were capable of going out and doing horrible things to other ordinary
people. It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to
think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was
Us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly
never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of
Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.
-Terry Pratchett
One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs
less than it's operating manual.
-Ibid
Good judgement comes from experience. Most worthwhile experiences come from bad judgement.
-Dusty
If you think that [the] Creator had no sense of fun, I can only ask you, why do men have nipples?
-Jim Hightower
Now I can look at you in peace; I don't eat you any more.
-Franz Kafka, while admiring fish in an aquarium
To be alive, to be able to see, to walk,...it's all a miracle. I have adapted the technique of living life from
miracle to miracle.
-Arthur Rubinstein
During a recent panel on the numerous failures of American journalism, I proposed that almost all stories about
government should begin: "Look out! They're about to smack you around again!"
-Molly Ivans
"One unexpected result came from the seismic experiment recording the impact of Intrepid on the surface after we
had jettisoned it. The entire Moon rang like a gong, vibrating and resonating for almost on hour after the impact."
-Cortwright, Edgar M., Apollo Expeditions To The Moon, By C. Conrad,Jr./ A.B. Shepard, Jr., U.S. History, 1 Sep 1990.
But they are useless. They can only give you answers.
-Picasso, on computers.
"If the King's English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me!"
-"Ma" Ferguson, Governor of Texas (circa 1920)
O senseless man, who cannot possibly make a worm and yet will make Gods by the dozen!
-Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592)
Freud on Seuss ROFL!
Statistics are like bikinis --they show a lot, but hide the important stuff."
-Anonymous
"I remember some cold nights in Minnesota where you'd put some peanut butter on your penis and say hello to the dog."
-Anonymous (by request, though I can't imagine why... :-)
Only presidents, editors and people with tapeworm have the right to use the editorial "we."
-Mark Twain
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think they'll hate you.
-Saba
Do you want to know how unix works? Then, echo '16i[q]sa[ln0=aln100%Pln100/snlbx]sbA0D4D465452snlbx'|dc
Can you read that? Then, echo '[q]sa[ln0=aln256%Pln256/snlbx]sb3135071790101768542287578439snlbxq'|dc
-Ibid
A UNIX saleslady, Lenore,
Enjoys work, but she likes the beach more.
She found a good way
To combine work and play:
She sells C shells by the seashore.
-Ibid
"I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it."
-Clarence Darrow
For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like.
-Abraham Lincoln
Here are The Twelve Truths of Networking
"I take confidence in the belief that there is a solution,
other than that I have nothing going for me."
-Matthew T. Beitler
Take the baby out to the other room and hit him with the fish!
-An anonymous parent
The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like
the condemned man who is proud of his large cell.
-Simone Weil
Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, drive home safely...
and don't take any s**t from anybody!
-Billy Joel, closing out a concert in Hartford, CT
One winter evening, when the innovative engineer R. Buckminster Fuller
was drinking tea by the fireplace of Prof. Hugh Kenner, three-year-old
Lisa Kenner prolonged her bedtime farewell with the question: "Bucky,
why is the fire hot?" Kenner writes: Some instinct told Lisa he was
the man to ask. His answer, as he took her on his lap, began, like
most of his answers, some distance away from the question. "You remember,
darling, when the tree was growing in the sunlight?" On arms like
upgroping branches, his hands became clusters of leaves as he described
their collecting the sunlight, processing its energies into sugars,
drawing them down into a stocky trunk. "Then the men cut it down. and
and sawed it into logs. And what you see now"--he pointed to the
crackling hearth--"is the sunlight, unwinding from the log."
-New York Times Magazine via Readers' Digest
Let's face it, a little humility is in order from all of us. I mean,
aren't we slightly too ridiculous for anything else? Do any of us get
where we are going because we know where to go?
-John Rosenthal
On each race is laid the duty to keep alight its own lamp of mind as its
part in the illumination of the world. To break the lamp of any people is
to deprive it of its rightful place in the world festival.
-Rabindranath Tagore, Indian Poet (1861-1941) [Rabindra Rachonabali]
They asked me to go in front of the Reagans. I'm not used to going in
front of President Reagan, so we went out behind the Bushes.
-Dan Quayle, Former U.S. Vice President (1947-)
Quotes from my mom during a recent visit:
"I hate flying. The pilots are always drunk!"
"There's nobody in Boca Raton to talk to!"
"Cruise? I'm not taking no cruise! The ships always go down, then they lose
your luggage!"
Sue: We won't have a moon tonight.
My mom: You don't know; we might.
Sue: No, we had a full moon 2 weeks ago. Tonight is the new moon.
My mom: Oh, I don't believe in that stuff!
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--"
-General John Sedgwick, Union commander in the Civi War, speaking his last words as he
was watching enemy troops during the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House.
"There is a very fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
-Oscar Levant
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
-Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
"I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain."
-Carol Leifer
Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the
Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger.
Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents.
-William Coronel
"Being right too soon is socially unacceptable."
-Robert A. Heinlein
"Let's face the obvious. Yesterday we were nerds. Today we're the cognitive elite.
Let's conquer."
-Chester G. Edwards
I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of
oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate
commerce.
-J. Edgar Hoover
I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is;
I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments
that differentiate me from a doormat.
-Rebecca West, 1913
"Common sense is that layer of prejudices which we acquire before we are sixteen."
-Albert Einstein
"And if you give us any more trouble, I shall visit you in the small hours and
put a bat up your nightdress."
-Basil Fawlty
"A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy."
-Joseph Campbell
"Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea --massive,
difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-
boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it."
-Gene Spafford,1992
And the following quotes are from our good friend Ann Onymous:
Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted for the change to take
effect.
Reboot now? [ OK ]
Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait
I feel like a genocidal maniac when emacs asks me if I want to kill 10789
characters.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than
eating soup with a knife.
"To know recursion, you must first know recursion"
Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is the most important meal
of the day.
Don't have awk? Use this simple sh emulation:
#!/bin/sh
echo 'Awk bailing out!'
exit 2
Whip me. Beat me. Make me maintain AIX.
Of course my password is the same as my pet's name.
My macaw's name was Q47pY!3, but I change it every 90 days.
BREAKFAST.EXE Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. {I actually got this
error once! -henry}
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven...
The world is coming to an end... SAVE YOUR BUFFERS!!
Life is like a litterbox. You don't want to go digging around in past events.
-My (12-year-old) son
Technology gives us cancer, and then we want technology to cure us.
Technology is a big dog with glittering eyes chasing it's tail in
a long and complicated dream.
-Poe Ballantine
Some things I've learned:
* Never underestimate the power of a single red sock in the laundry.
* Never put stickers on suede.
* If you must tape your windows because a hurricane, take the masking tape off
immediately after the storm is over.
* Wait 24 hours before you make what an objective observer might call a major purchase.
No matter how much you want it. No matter how good the deal is. No matter what.
* Nobody in the store is an objective observer.
* Once in a lifetime deals aren't.
* Change your vehicle's oil every 3,000 miles. No matter what.
This way, no matter how busy you are, you'll still manage to change it every 5,000 miles.
* No, you will not remember; write it down.
* No, you will not remember; put it on the calendar now.
* Keep a pad and pencil by the phone. Get their name. At the very beginning of the
conversation. Every single time. Write down what they said, and the date.
* Keep the records until the problem is solved.
* Counting to 10 when you're angry really does work. If it doesn't work for you count to 20.
* Make backups. And an emergancy startup disk. Make regular backups. Frequently.
Economics and politics are the governing powers of life today,
and that's why everything is screwy.
-Joseph Campbell
Once I was told I should shoot for the stars, and look at me now:
Mars is in my grasp! Is this a great country or what!!!!!
-Ralph Guzman (A SysAdmin, upon learning that he would inherit
a machine with the hostname 'mars')
People have forgotten, but we Dogs remember.
We remember, through our innate racial memories, the days when our
race and the world were both young, the days when People still stayed
in the trees, and when all of our kind lived in the woods and the fields,
in the awful, desolate lonliness--in seperateness. When we ate only what
we caught and killed, and the night shadows and the night smells were
around us, and the Night Devils rode the high howling winds, and there
was no light when the sun went down except the thin skittery moonlight.
Nor was there any warmth when the stars came out but in the warmth of
our fur and our tails, in which we buried our cold twitching noses.
We Dogs remember, and at night, sleeping across the doorway or behind
the chair, we dream; and our sleep is broken by the momory of separateness,
and we whimper and try to run from the horror. We Dogs remember.
We remember when the night comes down and we are out and not in, and the
Night Devils that no Dog can catch ride the winds, and then we point our
noses at the moon, which is the enemy of all Dogs, and we sing our
ancient song of desolation and loneliness. And so do our cousins, the
wolves and coyotes and foxes, the ones who still cling to the old customs..
-Greyfriar's Flannel Petticoat (A.K.C. # WA-339236)
(With her Special Person, Roland A. Browne)
From The Intelligent Dog's Guide to People Owning
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
-anonymous
When one person receives without working
another must work without receiving.
-anonymous
....the First Ammendment was designed to protect offensive speech,
since governments never try to ban the other kind.
-Mike Godwin
Beer -Wine -Guns -Ammo -Picnic Supplies
-sign at a roadside convenience store in south Texas
By one estimate, the average American spends 1,600 hours a year either
driving or earning the money to support a car, and drives an average
of 6,000 miles a year. That works out to about 4 miles traveled
per hour spent --the equivalent of a normal walking pace.
-Edward Tenner Why Things Bite Back
Sometimes I jest sits here and types. Sometimes I jest sits here and
laughs for no apparent reason. Scares the bejezus out of my cubemates.
-Bill Stout
"Why not?" "Yeah."
-The last words of Timothy Leary, who dropped out due to cancer, at age 75.
It's easy to play any musical instrument;
all you have to do is touch the right key at the right time
and the instrument will play by itself.
-Johann Sebastian Bach
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
-Abbie Hoffman
If you watch a game, it's fun.
If you play it, it's recreation.
If you work at it, it's golf.
-Bob Hope
They riseth in the early morning,
They goeth forth full of hope,
Mighty are their prospects.
When the day is spent they returneth
Smelling of strong drink-
And the truth is not in them.
-a sign pinned to a wall of a Minnesota hunting lodge
Some birthdays are special. They really get you.
-Carl Kraft
In Dance We Trust
-Marguerite Plank
"I mean, after all; you have to consider we're only made out of dust. That's
admittedly not much to go on and we shouldn't forget that. But even
considering, I mean it's sort of a bad beginning, we're not doing too bad. So
I personally have faith that even in this lousy situation we're faced with we
can make it. You get me?"
-Leo Bulero/PKD, via proff@suburbia.net
"Tommy Sucks At Pinball" and I "Don't Care Who You Are"
-The handwritten titles of two recently discovered Keith Moon drum tracks
Note that this is not a vulnerability with Java, per se. It is
really a vulnerablility with DNS that Java does not check for.
-CIAC note 96-01
"You go to heaven... God sneezes... What do you say ?"
-Peter Houppermans peter@phobos.co.uk
A language is a dialect with an army and a navy.
-Max Weinrich From Mat Simmons' siggie
Trying to have sex at my age is like trying to play pool with a rope.
-George Burns
Jeff correctly points out a major potential problem with [this policy].
At the risk of agreeing with him, I would like to comment.
-the notoriously controversial "Dr. Fred" -
Technician 1: They've changed the drop dead date again.
Technician 2: It's starting to become a drop dead window.
Lawsuits follow money, and money has found the internet.
Who can sue who, and for how much, is still being worked out.
-Tim Kolar
Is time travel a thing of the past?
-heard somewhere
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
-Noelie Altito
I am the warrior God of Atlantis!
-an acolyte at church, marching up the center aisle with a large cnadle,
apparently not realizing that his comment to the boy beside him could be heard
The Cat's Diary
Day 751: My captors continue to torment me with bizarre dangling
objects. They eat lavish meals in my presence while I am forced to subsist
on dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of eventual
escape --that, and the satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining some
piece of their furniture.
I fear I may be going insane. Yesterday, I
ate a houseplant. Tomorrow I may eat another.
Never dance in wool socks.
-(this is something I found out the hard way)
I think animal testing is a terrible idea;
they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
-A Bit of Fry and Laurie -
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
-multiple sources
The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in
many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls
the "Four F's": 1. fighting; 2. fleeing; 3.feeding; and 4. mating.
-Psychology professor in neuropsychology intro course
What is a committee? A group of the unwilling,
picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
-Richard Harkness, The New York Times
With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles
closer to globular cluster 13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there
are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress.
-Ransom K. Ferm
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
-attr: John Owen
Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench
to pound in the correct screw.
-ibid
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
-John, again
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and
years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the
worst movies in the history of the world.
-Dave Barry
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals;
I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
-A. Whitney Brown
A great many people think they are thinking
when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
-William James
Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon
full of tapes hurtling down the highway.
-Andrew Tannenbaum
There's so much comedy on television.
Does that cause comedy in the streets?
-Dick Cavett, mocking the TV-violence debate
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's
life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if
there are men on base.
-Dave Barry
I am sick unto death of obscure English towns that exist seemingly for the
sole accommodation of these so-called limerick writers --and even sicker of
their residents, all of whom suffer from physical deformities and spend their
time dismembering relatives at fancy dress balls.
-Editor of the Limerick Times (Limerick, Ireland)
When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.
-6&nL#bi~8r
Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how
tragic your defeats ---approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.
668: The Neighbor of the Beast
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
-Emo Phillips
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
-Anonymous
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.
-F. P. Jones
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the
experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination
to do so.
-Douglas Adams, _Last Chance to See_
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in
the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or
the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"
-Quentin Crisp
Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations,
separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another.
-Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
I think that all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of
being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being
sick and tired. I'm certainly not! But I'm sick and tired of being told that I am!
-Monty Python
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
-George Carlin
Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
Back off --I'm a postal worker!
Visualize whirlled peas.
Visualize using your turn signals.
Hang up and drive!
Hung like Einstein. Brains of a horse.
-bumper snickers
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible
will make violent revolution inevitable.
-John F. Kennedy
Life may have no meaning. Or even worse,
it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.
-Ashleigh Brilliant
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
-ibid
Her kisses left something to be desired --the rest of her.
-anonymous: and for a darned good reason!
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
-Mark Twain
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham
Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2. Advising the President.
3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
-David Letterman
Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli,
"I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease". Disraeli replied,
"That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress."
For three days after death, hair and fingernails
continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
-Johnny Carson
A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least
expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit.
-In the August 1993 issue, page 9, of PS magazine, the Army's
magazine of preventive maintenance
An Animated Cartoon Theology:
1. People are animals.
2. The body is mortal and subject to incredible pain.
3. Life is antagonistic to the living.
4. The flesh can be sawed, crushed, frozen, stretched, burned, bombed, and plucked for music.
5. The dumb are abused by the smart and the smart destroyed by their own cunning.
6. The small are tortured by the large and the large destroyed by their own momentum.
7. We are able to walk on air, but only as long as our illusion supports us.
-E. L. Doctorow "The Book of Daniel"
CALVIN: People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't
realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
HOBBES: Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in the front?
The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs.
-E. Grebenik
Old Yiddish proverb: "If triangles had a God, He'd have three sides."
Don't worry about temptation--as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.
-Old Farmer's Almanac
G: "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?"
EB: "Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."
-Somewhere in No Man's Land, BA4
The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.
-Plutarch
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a
voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
-Charlie Brown
The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.
-Salvador Dali
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone,
but they've always worked for me.
-Hunter S. Thompson
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
-Mark Twain
"Time's fun when you're having flies."
-Kermit the Frog
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears this is true.
-James Branch Cabell
A pessimist is one who feels bad when he feels good
for fear he'll feel worse when he feels better.
-H. Allen Smith
He's beaten everyone on earth. Saint Peter, rack 'em up!
-the widow of Minnesota Fats, after his funeral
By the time you get to whereever whatever it was was, it's gone!
-Laura Sloat (A coworker, attempting to understand seemingly inexplicable traffic clumps)
Christmas canceled. Joseph confessed.
-rec.humor.funny
Here at the frontier there are falling leaves.
Although my neighbors are all barbarians,
And you, you are a thousand miles away,
There are always two cups on my table.
-from the T'ang Dynasty, A.D. 618-906
I speak only for myself and not the other voices in my head.
-siggie, ibelooze@runet.edu \
Speed does not kill. Stopping very quickly kills.
-heard somewhere
Here's a little puzzle for the hypocrites to solve:
Jesus born from Woman, not a man at all involved!
-Bob Franke
When one person receives without working
another must work without receiving.
-heard somewhere
I keep hearing
tree talk
water words
and I keep knowing what they mean.
-Lucille Clifton
The universe is made of stories, not atoms.
-Muriel Rukeyser
Most of the things worth doing in the world have
been declared impossible before they were done.
-Louis Brandeis
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
-seen on a siggie
Housework: The work your house does not do when you are not home.
"Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction
and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react.
He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high schools."
-1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's revolutionary rocket work.
Man does. Woman is.
-Piers Anthony
God is real... unless declared integer.
-heard somewhere
From a Fall issue of Kitchen and Bath Custom Planner
"GE's white-on-white catalogue offers a complete line of all-white
appliances. Send for a full-color brochure."
-Reader's Digest, November, 1995 p. 100
Not to worry, we'll just outlaw all unlicensed cryptography.
After all, it works in France.
You don't see weekly terrorist attacks over there any more,now do you ?
-"Futplex"
His ... argument style makes me want to step outside and hork in the bushes.
-Robert Hettinga